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Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Apr 29, 2013 6:55pm PDT
explosions at the white house and injuries to president obama. >> that immediately sent wall street off into a tailspin for a dramatic few minutes. >> to have that kind of impact from a 140 character tweet, that is actually quite significant. >> stephen: now, it turned out to be false information. still it was the most earth-shattering tweet since the twit-pic of dan kissing ali when he's still dating jessica. i mean hash tag man slut. it turns out the a.p.'s twitter feed was hacked by a group calling itself the syrian electronic army. i saw them at bonnaroo in 2006. they're amazing. anyway, it fooled wall street but you've got to understand, these traders on wall street are only human. except this one time. >> human beings weren't making these trades. these were computers. algorithms designed to scan the headlines and find negative or positive words and then help companies profit on the results. >> they're looking for key words like explosion, white house, president, obama. they read those words in that fake a.p. tweet and immediately triggered massive selling of stock. no human beings invo
Comedy Central
May 2, 2013 11:30pm PDT
last few days president obama has golfed. he went to the white house correspondent dinner. he had a sund sunday where he >> stephen: tonight, we've got a big problem with gitmo in that we're talking about gitmo in. ( laughter ) then the summer bloc busters. now hollywood can undermine our morals in 3d. and my guest ben kingsley is an accomplished actor despite being born with a debilitating accent. a man arrested for shooting at the white house said he was upset over u.s. marijuana laws. man, if only there were some way to mellow that guy out. ( laughter ) this is the the "colbert report" captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report! thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: folks, please, folks, please, we've got to-- i love it. you love it. but i have got to get to the breaking news from 24 hours ago. ( laughter ) federal authorities have arrested three accompliced of alleged boston bomber joke-a-har tsarnaev. the accomplices are two
Comedy Central
May 1, 2013 11:30pm PDT
barack obama in support of gay marriage. >> stephen: i'm not familiar with barack obama's rap words. but i'm sure it's very good. >> barack obama, if you listen faintly, you can hear faint rap music coming from the white house on sunday nights i've heard >> stephen: full rap used to say things like [bleep] police. what do you want to do to the police? ryan? >> i'd want nothing to do with the police. >> stephen: well, i'll tell you what. would you do a song for us now that you're all set up? ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much for being here. we'll be right back with a performance by maclemore and ryan lewis. stick >> stephen: here with performance off their album the heist, ladies and gentlemen, mclemore and ryan lewis. ♪ when i was in the third grade i thought i was gay ♪ and i kept my room straight. i told my mom she was like, ben, you liked girls in pre-k. the stereotypes all in my head. i remember doing the math like, yeah, i'm good at little league. a preconceived idea of what it all means to like the same sex. to have the characteristics, the right wing conservatives
Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)